IC inbox for Snowblind

[ecks]

This device belongs to Ecks. Messages dictated to it will be received by Ecks.

[Please specify audio, video or text.]

Comments

[nursetemple]

Last night, we all acted on someone else's decisions. It doesn't count.

Do you need a rule book?

[ecks]

That is what people said when we moved at night, but I did not remember moving. I remember last night.

I need a rule book because otherwise I will not know what is right and what is wrong and I might follow someone else's decisions.

[nursetemple]

So you think it was you? Last night?

Who decides what is wrong and what is right, though? Are you the one making that decision? How do you come to it?

[ecks]

I do not want to be a murderer
but I did not try not to be a murderer last night
Doctor Watson tried

I decide the rules when I think about what would be right if another person did or did not do the thing the rule is about to me

[nursetemple]

Ecks, listen to me. I'm not a murderer, either. My whole life is about saving people. And yet last night, I wanted to hurt people. It's not your fault, you weren't yourself. None of us were. Watson is much older than you, and spent a lot of his life learning how to control himself. Last night was not you.

[Claire's voice is firm, but still gentle.]

Do you mind telling me a few of your rules? Are there any rules about your own well-being?

[ecks]

Davesprite says that last night I was a tool

[He said it in a nice, reassuring way, actually.]

Murder
-Murder is the act of killing another thinking being.
-It is wrong to murder other people without good reason. ^or permission*
-Acceptable reasons for murder:
Defense of self (?)
Defense of others
If someone tries to kill you, kill them first or run.
-Unacceptable reasons for murder:

*murder is typically an unacceptable act because most thinking creatures do not want to die. If a thinking creature chooses to die, murder is acceptable in that instance.


I have rules about murder, theft, friends, and secrets.

[nursetemple]

[Claire takes a long time to consider the rules laid out here, logical and rational, but still allowing so many loopholes. When she replies, it's with a measured tone.]

What about revenge? Say, you are attacked, but not murdered, and you did not kill your attacker, either. A few weeks pass, and you meet with your attacker again. Does the self defense rule still apply? Or will you move on?

[It's part fascination that has Claire ask these questions, but also interest, in knowing that Ecks has considered different options, knows what's laid out in front of her. She wants to be a person, and Claire wants to help her.]

oops, let's pretend I only switched to text for the rules

[ecks]

No.

[The word doesn't sound any more anguished than the rest of Ecks's inexpressive speech, but it sure is louder.]

Defense is when not killing the other person means they will kill you or another person. It is not when they killed another person before.

[That wasn't quite the question, Ecks.]

[nursetemple]

Even if that person is you?

[Claire pauses, pursing her lips.]

I'm sorry, Ecks. I'm not needling you, I'm just trying to understand. It's a good rule to have, not to murder indiscriminately. But it might have some loopholes.

[ecks]

I can write more specific sub-rules.

I do not intend to murder anyone else.

[nursetemple]

You killed someone before?

[ecks]

[Uh oh.]

...Define before.

[nursetemple]

Hm.

[That's answer enough, Ecks.]

In Norfinbury?

[ecks]

[The clarification doesn't even help her. Or maybe it does? There was only one in Norfinbury.]

Yes. One time. I do not want to again.

[nursetemple]

But it was self-defense?

[Claire bites her lip for a moment.]

I'm not judging you, by the way. I understand - the urge.

[ecks]

[There is a long, painful pause.]

It was not self defense.

[nursetemple]

Oh. It was before your rules, then, wasn't it?

[She's not going to ask why.]

[ecks]

[She might want to ask why in a moment. Ecks goes silent again, and when she replies her voice is fainter, like she's put the tablet down.]

It was not before my rules.

[Not the one that happened in Norfinbury.]

[nursetemple]

Huh.

[A pause. She does want to ask why.]

Well...may I ask why you did it?

[ecks]

I did it because I was angry.

[Others have talked her through this. Others have reassured her that it doesn't mean she's a lawless creature that murders indiscriminately. She just doesn't entirely believe it.]

I know that it was wrong. He killed a person I like and I wanted him to be sorry that he did that. He was not sorry, and then I killed him.

[nursetemple]

So, it was revenge. Plenty of people hurt others because of revenge. It doesn't make it right, but it makes you more of a person than some people I've met, because at least, you know it was wrong. You regret it.

[ecks]

Is regret part of what makes you a person? It makes you more of a person?

How can you be most a person?

[nursetemple]

You're thinking, therefore you are a person.

But I think feeling things make you even more of a person. Empathy, sympathy, they're all important. Caring for others makes you a better person, too. Not that you should never be selfish, because you should - you, as a person, comes first.

I don't think you can only be part of a person. I think, the second you have your own thoughts, you are a person, and that's that.

[ecks]

I thought that making choices was what made me a person, but Doctor Watson said that I was still a person even when the Admin made me do things I did not choose to do.

Those are a lot of different things to make me a person. I think that I do those things, mostly.

[nursetemple]

Yes, people are made of multitudes, Ecks. And you are, too, which makes you a person. Choices are part of it, as are feelings and thoughts and so many more things.

A very famous author once wrote 'I think, therefore I am'.