Santa has balls I think if a person intrudes into homes to leave presents that person must have balls and also an ulterior motive does having very cold balls mean something different than having balls generally?
santas cold balls mean hes a heartless motherfucker he carts around like hes got carte blanche to judge everybody to hell and back by which i mean he keeps a literal list of people who fail to meet his specific moral standards acts like hes god but hes just an overgrown serial home invader who misuses the local wildlife
I have suspected this fact giving a freezing person a single piece of coal is very cruel also I suspect he is an emotionally parasitic being because that would explain why he leaves presents and provides behavioral requirements unless he really is a god gods do cruel things we do not always understand.
nah hes not god if were god he wouldnt need to enslave a bunch of elves to make presents for people hes just like some kind of snow demon all hopped up on the fumes of his own ass which is where his head is stuffed figuratively speaking mind you im pretty certain about the demon thing though he makes pacts with parents for the right to judge their children hence the ritualistic offering of milk and cookies
he has flowersucker slaves? I did not know this thing about Santa I think I do not like it but that does explain how he has so many presents to give away if he forms pacts and follows rules he is probably a devil, not a demon
no im pretty sure elves are just called elves besides these elves are up at the north pole its snowy there like here no flowers to suck even if they wanted to
the Blasted Lands are lands that are blasted elementals live there that is where I am from except I am from the part where there are not elementals because there are angry ghosts instead
yes it is good job with your studies ecks a+ the country is the united states of america but thats not exactly what the country part of the name means country is also like the area between cities where people have farms and ranches and stuff like that
ive got news for you ecks youre in america welcome to the us of a and the admin already considers us citizens just by being here so you get to bypass all the complicated immigration laws uncle sam says sup
uncle sam is this dude in a dumb hat with a white beard who hassles you to join the army once youre american hes automatically a legal member of your family because if theres one thing i know about the average american family its that having a jingoistic blowhard who never shuts up about the military is standard anyway us of a is just the united states of america but with initials instead of full words and texas is way down south of here and kind of east so no its not nearby
I do not have a family I do not want Uncle Sam in my family I do not want to join the army and be a soldier I do not want to kill people I do not want Uncle Sam I do not want do not no no no no
oh shit ecks listen i was lying i meant it as a joke uncle sam isnt your uncle or any other kind of family member and he isnt any kind of real person either hes made up santa is also made up theyre stories that represent ideas you dont have to join the army or kill anyone ever again ok im sorry
[Uncomfortable indeed. He didn't meant to fuck up, but he did, and the topic doesn't get much more uncomfortable than that. And when the message finally does come...]
if you want me to do that for you then ok
[He doesn't much like tipping his hand, but for her he can compromise.]
ill still joke the regular way with other people but if you want to ask about that when it happens i can clear things up for you that way too i dont want to freak you out like that again
house is a jackass and you can tell thats not a joke because i didnt smile after it hes useful to know but being nice isnt something hes good at and youre not a moron ecks youre inexperienced compared to older people and you dont know all this modern stuff plus you take things literally a lot of the time being a jerk about those wont make them suddenly not a thing
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I think if a person intrudes into homes to leave presents that person must have balls
and also an ulterior motive
does having very cold balls mean something different than having balls generally?
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he carts around like hes got carte blanche to judge everybody to hell and back
by which i mean he keeps a literal list of people who fail to meet his specific moral standards
acts like hes god
but hes just an overgrown serial home invader who misuses the local wildlife
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giving a freezing person a single piece of coal is very cruel
also I suspect he is an emotionally parasitic being because that would explain why he leaves presents and provides behavioral requirements
unless he really is a god
gods do cruel things we do not always understand.
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if were god he wouldnt need to enslave a bunch of elves to make presents for people
hes just like
some kind of snow demon
all hopped up on the fumes of his own ass
which is where his head is stuffed
figuratively speaking mind you
im pretty certain about the demon thing though
he makes pacts with parents for the right to judge their children
hence the ritualistic offering of milk and cookies
cw fantasy racist slur
I did not know this thing about Santa
I think I do not like it but that does explain how he has so many presents to give away
if he forms pacts and follows rules he is probably a devil, not a demon
cw fantasy racist slur
ill trust your expertise on the devil/demon distinction
cw fantasy racist slur
that is what they are called
cw fantasy racist slur
besides these elves are up at the north pole
its snowy there like here
no flowers to suck even if they wanted to
cw fantasy racist slur
strange
[She never really thought about that.]
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elementals live there
that is where I am from except I am from the part where there are not elementals because there are angry ghosts instead
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im from texas
which is blasted with more humidity than satans asscrack and enough country music it should be illegal
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also what country is the music from?
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good job with your studies ecks a+
the country is the united states of america but thats not exactly what the country part of the name means
country is also like
the area between cities
where people have farms and ranches and stuff like that
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[Wow! She's never gotten higher than a B before now!]
if that is what country is I have been to the country
but not that country
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youre in america
welcome to the us of a
and the admin already considers us citizens just by being here so you get to bypass all the complicated immigration laws
uncle sam says sup
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us of a what?
is Texas near Alaska?
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once youre american hes automatically a legal member of your family
because if theres one thing i know about the average american family its that having a jingoistic blowhard who never shuts up about the military is standard
anyway
us of a is just the united states of america but with initials instead of full words
and texas is way down south of here and kind of east
so no its not nearby
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I do not want Uncle Sam in my family
I do not want to join the army and be a soldier
I do not want to kill people
I do not want Uncle Sam
I do not want
do not
no no no no
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ecks listen i was lying
i meant it as a joke
uncle sam isnt your uncle or any other kind of family member
and he isnt any kind of real person either
hes made up
santa is also made up
theyre stories that represent ideas
you dont have to join the army or kill anyone ever again ok
im sorry
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if it is a joke you have to smile after the joke like :)
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if you want me to do that for you
then ok
[He doesn't much like tipping his hand, but for her he can compromise.]
ill still joke the regular way with other people
but if you want to ask about that when it happens i can clear things up for you that way too
i dont want to freak you out like that again
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I can ask if I am not sure
usually I ask and then Doctor House tells me I am a moron
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and you can tell thats not a joke because i didnt smile after it
hes useful to know but being nice isnt something hes good at
and youre not a moron ecks
youre inexperienced compared to older people and you dont know all this modern stuff
plus you take things literally a lot of the time
being a jerk about those wont make them suddenly not a thing
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I have been learning about the different kinds of lies
like sarcasm and jokes
I can learn and I want to learn
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