IC inbox for Snowblind

[ecks]

This device belongs to Ecks. Messages dictated to it will be received by Ecks.

[Please specify audio, video or text.]

Comments

[mrcreamsicles]

[Uncomfortable indeed. He didn't meant to fuck up, but he did, and the topic doesn't get much more uncomfortable than that. And when the message finally does come...]

if you want me to do that for you
then ok

[He doesn't much like tipping his hand, but for her he can compromise.]

ill still joke the regular way with other people
but if you want to ask about that when it happens i can clear things up for you that way too
i dont want to freak you out like that again

[ecks]

okay
I can ask if I am not sure
usually I ask and then Doctor House tells me I am a moron

[mrcreamsicles]

house is a jackass
and you can tell thats not a joke because i didnt smile after it
hes useful to know but being nice isnt something hes good at
and youre not a moron ecks
youre inexperienced compared to older people and you dont know all this modern stuff
plus you take things literally a lot of the time
being a jerk about those wont make them suddenly not a thing

[ecks]

I don't want to be inexperienced
I have been learning about the different kinds of lies
like sarcasm and jokes
I can learn and I want to learn

[mrcreamsicles]

being inexperienced isnt youre fault
you just havent lived as long as other people as all
youll learn over time and youve learned a lot already
human two years olds cant do half the stuff you do
not even a quarter of it
do you want me to tell you the truth about santa and uncle sam

[ecks]

yes
I want you to tell me the truth about santa and uncle sam
how many years have you lived?

[mrcreamsicles]

either 16 or 17
i think 17 now
i lost track for a while because of time travel
but anyway so
i think santa was originally based on a real dude called saint nicholas
but hes been dead forever and whatever he did the idea of santa claus has evolved past it into its own cultural thing about a guy who does impossible shit
like a story character more or less
so like
first thing you need to know is that theres this holiday called christmas
and on christmas people celebrate with a pine tree thats been decorated and there are these presents underneath it
santa claus is supposed to be the guy who brings the presents
hes big and fat and wears a red coat and has a flying sleigh led by reindeer
and theyve all got names but i cant remember them all
one of them is rudolph who has this nose that glows and he guides the sleigh but thats kind of off topic
back to santa
he also lives up at the north pole where he has this workshop full of elves making toys year round so he can deliver them the night before christmas to all the kids whove been good
meanwhile kids whove been bad just get a lump of coal
but like i said thats all a fake story
parents tell kids santa brings the presents and that they have to be good basically just to get them to behave
and theyre the ones who buy the presents and stick them under the tree after the kids have gone to sleep on christmas eve
eventually they get told santa is fake or figure it out themselves or spot a parent moving around at night or whatever
meanwhile uncle sam is this character with like a striped top hat and old timey blue suit and a white beard
he was created as a piece of propaganda to try to get people to join the army
hes not anybodys actual uncle because hes fake and he cant make you join or fight or do anything
if youve got extra questions i can try to clarify

[ecks]

I knew that Santa entered houses at night and left things in those houses on Christmas
I learned that part when it was Christmas here but Santa never came to the house where Doctor Stein and I were sleeping that night
also the part with coal
and elven slaves

why do the parents give their children secret presents?
to make them behave well?
do they only behave well at Christmas?

do people not join the army if they do not want to join the army?

[mrcreamsicles]

yep
he didnt come because hes not real
kids are supposed to behave well year round but the santa thing is like an extra excuse for it
plus if theyre getting all these presents its like
a way of earning it kinda
be good and you get good things more or less
beyond that its just a weird tradition
not every tradition makes much sense honestly
anyway as for the army theres sometimes this thing called a draft that means you HAVE to join
but there hasnt been one for decades on my earth
and even then the draft only recruited men who were at least age 18
so you would be safe either way
otherwise if people dont want to join they just stay out

[ecks]

that means Santa is not watching me and judging me at all times
that is good
except maybe I would make better choices if someone were watching me and judging me at all times
I think I understand this tradition

[mrcreamsicles]

see about that
some people think god is watching and judging at all times
but my universe wasnt made that way so i dont care

[ecks]

I do not think the gods are watching and judging us at all times
if they were doing that I would have been smote before I came here

[mrcreamsicles]

same here
high five

[ecks]

five high what?

[mrcreamsicles]

man i have gotta teach you stuff like this when we meet up
a high five is this thing where two people smack their hands together palm first
high because its up in the air
five because five fingers
you give someone a high five as like
a congratulatory thing
or i guess in this case a kind of camaraderie among the would be
uh
smitten?
smote???
sinners gods would smite if they had any domain here
and saying high five in text is like going
i would give you a high five if i were there in person but im not so heres the words instead

[ecks]

like a pinky swear except without the promise and with a congratulations instead
and also hitting

[So not like a pinky swear at all.]

high five

[mrcreamsicles]

thats not how id describe it
but if it helps you understand then sure why not
i think im gonna let you go here though and figure out something to eat
ill talk to you again later ok

[ecks]

okay
I will tell you if I find anything that I think will help you with the eggs

[mrcreamsicles]

hell yes
thanks ecks
keep safe out there

[He hangs up.]</small.