I do not always do what he tells me to do. He does not always say vile things.
[It's important to explore. It would be important even if Doctor House did not tell her to do it. Right? So why doesn't she especially want to go do it right now?]
I know. [And that is part of the problem. There would be nothing to talk about if House were always vile.]
He's your teacher, and it's important to listen to your teachers. But they must listen to you as well. They must. Ecks - what do you want to do? If you can't go to him, and you don't want to explore the tunnels?
They are worth exploring. [Kesara can say that much, at least, with confidence. If Ecks is doing the exploring herself, for herself, not for House, then Kesara thinks she even wouldn't mind.]
It's the best thing to do. If, if you want to do it. It's better than going after Duster for what he's done - or not done, I mean. Going after him wouldn't make anyone happy anyway.
[Ecks's next message does not arrive immediately. She heard what Kesara said. She heard exactly what Kesara just said. If she had doubts before, if she hadn't seen through Kesara's talk before, that's over now.]
[It doesn't immediately sink in. Kesara is normally good at reading such meanings, but with the tablet's flat rendering she doesn't quite see the significant of Ecks's echoing phrase. Not at once.]
I've been speaking with Duster about what House had said before, and he -
[It's like a trickle of water through a crack, a funny feeling of wrongness building, building, and then it snaps. Icy horror floods Kesara's mind. Her tongue turns to lead. She thinks of a lie, and finds that she can't say it without stammering.]
[What Ecks is feeling now is something like betrayal. Hsiaoke has always been a subject of caution for her, even when they agreed they did not have to be enemies anymore, but she did not think the girl would lie to her about something so important.]
No! [That isn't a lie. It isn't a lie. Duster didn't say anything. It was all Mr. Solomons - no, he hadn't said anything either - she'd worked it out herself. And now Ecks has too. Duster only confirmed...
And now Kesara has, too. She has. It's her fault.]
Dr. House said it's done. He doesn't want anything more to do with it!
He's a liar, but he has ways to get what he wants. He has tricks. If he'd wanted someone to, to go after Duster, to get him, he'd have made it happen! He could have told everyone!
You really mustn't do anything. No one wants you to do anything, Ecks, do you hear me? Dr. House would have ordered you to, if he knew. He surely would have.
[She's hitting a wall here. She mustn't, she can't. She doesn't even know what she even would want to do if she knew where Duster was and if Doctor House would let her.]
[Cannot. And stressed, that way, too. Maybe she does understand. Maybe she does understand? Kesara's throat and ribs ache from holding her breath. This is what she meant to do, isn't it? To give Ecks an order? Has she done it? Has she fixed it?]
I'm sorry for what happened. I'm terribly sorry. But you must leave it now. You should wait for us instead in the tunnel. We'll come and look after you.
Must leave it. She has her orders. She doesn't know what else she might do, much as it aches and makes her sick, and so for the moment, not knowing yet just how close by Duster is, she grudgingly acquiesces.]
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[It's important to explore. It would be important even if Doctor House did not tell her to do it. Right? So why doesn't she especially want to go do it right now?]
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He's your teacher, and it's important to listen to your teachers. But they must listen to you as well. They must. Ecks - what do you want to do? If you can't go to him, and you don't want to explore the tunnels?
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[She keeps asking what Ecks wants to do. That she cannot do it is running up against a sort of mental block.]
I will explore the tunnels when I feel well again.
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It's the best thing to do. If, if you want to do it. It's better than going after Duster for what he's done - or not done, I mean. Going after him wouldn't make anyone happy anyway.
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I do not know where Duster is. It is not practical to find him now.
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It isn't practical. And Dr. House doesn't want you to. He wants it to be over and done, just as Duster does.
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Both of them want it over and done?
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I've been speaking with Duster about what House had said before, and he -
[It's like a trickle of water through a crack, a funny feeling of wrongness building, building, and then it snaps. Icy horror floods Kesara's mind. Her tongue turns to lead. She thinks of a lie, and finds that she can't say it without stammering.]
He s- he said -
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Did Duster say that he killed Doctor House?
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And now Kesara has, too. She has. It's her fault.]
Dr. House said it's done. He doesn't want anything more to do with it!
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[She's hitting a wall here. She mustn't, she can't. She doesn't even know what she even would want to do if she knew where Duster was and if Doctor House would let her.]
I understand.
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I'm sorry for what happened. I'm terribly sorry. But you must leave it now. You should wait for us instead in the tunnel. We'll come and look after you.
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Must leave it. She has her orders. She doesn't know what else she might do, much as it aches and makes her sick, and so for the moment, not knowing yet just how close by Duster is, she grudgingly acquiesces.]
acknowledged.
i will wait.